What I feel like when I'm having an attack. I don't know what to do, it feels like my brain is being ripped in half, and the voices I hear are tearing me apart like rabid beasts. I keep crying for help from people around me, but they either don't hear, or refuse to listen, or just call me a whiny attention whore.
Schizophrenia isn't a cry for attention, it's a serious disease with a serious impact on the people afflicted by it. I'm intensely paranoid, and despite what many people think, antisocial. Cosplaying and going to cons have been helping with that, but afterwards, its just bleh.
Before you guys tell me to get help or medication, I already am on it. I just have no family/friend support. The friends I did have refused to understand or let me explain what was happening, and just labelled me a rancid bitch. (fuck you furcadia)
Not only that, but those who I thought of as family violently turned on me, and when I mean violently I mean, lead me on to trust them, then ripped it away and laughed in my face about it. Oh boy did that piss me off. Either way...
This is my portrayal of the disease. Say what you will of it. This isn't meant to be anyone else's portrayal but mine.